If you are in sales, sometimes you do some weird, scandalous or just plain fucked up shit to make your sales. Here are some things that I have done to make sales happen in the past. Not proud of most of them, but at least they can be good for a giggle :)
"Oh, uh, yeah, I also liked that movie Crossroads with Brittney Spears..."
One time I really had to pee, but they were spending $1100 on pictures... Sooo... Yeah... My sale kinda won that round...
Cleavage. Yep, just cleavage.
I was super sick, but the lady who was in the store was going to spend about $300. I barfed in a trash can, plastered a smile on my face and spent 20 minutes finishing her transaction while trying not to throw-up again. The second she went out the door I grabbed a plastic bag and threw up again, not realizing that she forgot her keys on the counter. She heard me and looked over the cash wrap. She didn't ask if I was okay, she just looked disgusted. About a week later I got a customer service survey and she gave me all zeros. Bitch.
Everyone buys more stuff from girls who wear pigtails on occasion. True story.
"A, B, C, D, E, F, G! There's the smile!" I feel like an idiot when I have to sing at work to entertain small children. Once a lady made me sing the theme song to Three's Company because her one-year-old liked it. "Come and knock on our door!"
When I first went out into the world looking for work, it was the summer that I was 15 years old. I really was willing to work pretty much anywhere, but my mom wasn't too keen on me getting a job, so she said that I'd have to walk around and see if anyone would hire me because she wasn't going to give me a ride. So I walked around in the heat, in the middle of summer, in the Central Valley. (That means it was really fucking hot!) I went to practically every shop in a four-mile radius. But in all the excitement of looking for a job, I only remembered to bring one bottle of water, which lasted for about 30 minutes. I remember walking in to Video City and filling out the application--and that was about it. The next thing I know there was an EMT shining a light in my face and a very scared lady saying "Oh thank God! I thought she was... Uh... I'm glad she's awake!" Apparently heat stroke is an equal opportunity offender and I passed out as I was walking out the door. They called an ambulance and my mom and the police and it was a whole big thing. Needless to say, I didn't get the job.
Then there are things that I have seen other people do to get a sale and I don't feel so bad :)
"Hey go clean the windows! Yes, now!" As they see a customer walking to my register with a giant pile of merchandise.
Hardcore whale tail! (And if you are unfamiliar with this term it is that great piece of fabric that shows when your thong is hanging out.) I seriously had to tell a girl that we were trying to sell pictures at work and not give the dads a show.
"If I don't make this sale, my boss is going to fire me." While I'm standing less than fifteen feet away!
"I know this is expensive, but if you buy it from me outside I can give you a better price." Didn't realize I was right behind them until after they said it. "Hahaha... I mean, come on, now... Totally just kidding. You can see the value in the product!"
No comments:
Post a Comment