Monday, August 6, 2012

Bitches Be Crazy... Volume 1!

I am making this post "Volume 1" because quite frankly, I'm pretty sure that bitches won't stop being crazy anytime soon.  Here's just a handful of some of the craziest customers that I've ever encountered in retail:


-At 'Happy Time Portraits' we send extra prints of the portraits that customers order to try and get them to spend a little more money.  We own the copyrights to the portraits and it's totally legal for us to do so.  Some people get kind of unhappy about that because they "didn't ask us to do that" and some people go so far as to demand that we give them the extras for free because it is something that has their child's face on it.  But it doesn't work like that.  One lady in a more ghetto location came in and demanded that we give her the extras and the associate told her that she couldn't give them away... So of course the logical thing to do in this lady's head is to jump the damn counter and try to lunge for the pictures.  The store had to call the police and escort her from the studio.  All over some damn pieces of paper!

-When you work fast-food, everyone hates that customer that comes in and says "And I want fresh fries. They better be fresh or I'm sending them back!"   Dude, everything else has been under a heat lamp or something for a while, why are the fries going to be any different?  (Plus fries that are too fresh suck, 'cause they burn your mouth. I like the ones that have been sitting for a while!)  Under the Golden Arches, in a time before all McNuggets were all white meat, this crazy bitch would come in every few weeks and say "I only want white meat nuggets."  Well, I was new at the time and I didn't realize that they actually gave into her crazy, so I told her no.  So she went off on me and yelled telling me how stupid I was and blah, blah, blah.  My manager came out and said we would do it for her.  So this bitch orders five orders of 20 piece McNuggets!  And the only way to find out if they are white meat or not is to cut into them one at a time!  Gah!  Twenty minutes of nugget hunting later we bring them out to her and she said we took too long and she wanted a refund.  Grrrr at people!

-This lady at 'Happy Time Portraits' got mad because she left a digital camera in our camera room and someone stole it.  Yeah.  Think about that for a second.

-"I'm sorry, ma'am, but it looks like you have some late fees on your account and it shows that we've already removed three late fees for you as a courtesy, so you'd have to pay at least part of them today to rent any movies." 
"Oh, hell no!  I am never late with my movies!  Never!  Where is your manager?  I am going to speak with your manager because he always helps me out of these situations that people like you put me in!  I'm a regular customer!"
"Uh, ma'am I've been the manager here for two years now... And it says you haven't been here in about six months. If you like, you can just pay $3 of it today."
"No!  Fuck that!  I am not putting up with this shit!  I am a police officer, a Christian and a strong black woman and I will not let you treat me like this!  Why would a Christian police officer lie?"
And I couldn't fucking resist...
"Um... To get out of paying late fees?"
And she went off the fucking chain!  I got a movie thrown at my head, but it was super worth it!  People don't set you up like that often enough!




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