Ch-Ch-Ch-Chonies!

Fun, on-the-job antics relating to everyone's favorite undergarment:

- Just to prefix this a bit, the associate in question was a super nice Korean guy in his late 40s who had only lived in the U.S. for about five years.  And the manager in question was about 26 at the time, married with two kids.  Good times!

   "Um, do you have a minute?" asked one of my managers.
   "Yeah, what's up?"
   "He got me panties," she said, clearly in shock.
   "Who got you panties?  Huh?"
   "My associate.  Got me panties.  For my birthday."
   "What the...?"
   "And they are exactly the right size."
   "What the fucking...?"
   "And they have matching bras with them."
   "Uhhh..."
   "And they look very expensive."
   "Holy crap, dude.  Did you need me to call HR?"
   "No, I don't want to get anyone in trouble.  I just had to share."
   " 'The hell?  Are you sure?  What did he say?  Isn't he married?"
   "Yep."
   "What is your husband going to say?  He is obviously not going to be cool with this."
   "Nope."
   "What are you going to do?"
   "Go home and say 'Look at these awesome panties I just bought!'"
   "Dude!"
   "Dude..." 
   "Dude... All he got me was a card haha!"


-At Hollywood Video there was a girl that worked for this crazy manager that no one ever wanted to deal with because she was nuts.  We actually had a few of those, but this one got her eighteen year-old, female associate panties for Valentine's Day and asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner.  Apparently there was even a box of chocolates included. 


-One Friday night at Hollywood, we were all recovering from a busy night of non-stop customers.  At least the people up front were.  I was still pretty new at the time, so I got the bitch job of putting movies back on the shelf up towards the front of the store.  I could hear them talking about one of the guys' pants being way too tight--so tight in fact that you could see a man-panty line.  "They are not too tight! Just 'cause I don't want my pants around my ankles like you guys doesn't mean they're too tight," he said complaining to everyone.  So I go to put some movies away on the very bottom shelf and a kid had knocked everything off the bottom row.  I kneel down to straighten things up when BAM!  Right in front of me, panty-line guy unintentionally has his crotch in my face and asks "Do you think these are too tight?"  Causing me to fall backwards and drop all the movies I'm holding while everyone up at the front starts cracking up hysterically.  And yes, they were entirely too tight!

-This story could have gone in a few categories, but I was running out of underwear stories, so I figured that it would work in this post.  I have taken thousands of portrait sessions over the years and I have lots of fun ones that I remember, but one very memorable session was during one holiday season at 'Happy Time Portraits'.   The studio was packed and we were short staffed.  As the manager, I wasn't supposed to be in the camera room, I was supposed to be running things, but I didn't really have a choice.  So I go into the lobby and there is this group of nine guys, grown men in their 30s-50s, all wearing crazy-ugly grandma sweaters.  I always tell my staff that I am a salesperson first and a photographer second, but when I get a really good group of fun people, I kick it into high gear.  I feel like I'm on stage at a comedy club and my act requires a lot of audience participation.  So when I see this motley crew of gentlemen in my studio lobby, I am fucking on it! 
  They tell me that they are all brothers and step-brothers and that they like to take a crazy group picture every few years and that they want to do some fun things in their session.  I get so excited!  I get them in the room and I start to get the first group pose set up, when suddenly there is an emergency in the lobby and they need a manager.  I let them know that I will be right back and they are super cool with it.  As I'm leaving the room I noticed that one of the guys isn't wearing a sweater, he has on a trenchcoat and sunglasses.  Weird, but whatever.  So I head back to the room a few minutes later and I hear them all giggling from outside, and when I get to the door I see the trenchcoat on the floor.  I step in the room and this one fucking guy is wearing sunglasses, a motorcycle helmet and a fucking gold speedo!  And he shouts "I'm ready for my close-up!"
  I was floored and I could see that they were all trying to gauge my reaction.  I didn't even really know what to say at that point, so I just blinked a few times and acted like everything was normal.  We actually aren't supposed to take pictures of people in underwear, but how often do you get to take pics of a hawt guy in a gold speedo?  (And, oh yes, he was gorgeous!  He looked like the guy from Sublime and had tattoos and stuff!)  So we just had the best time ever and I even got each of them to take individual shots doing some crazy pose.  They ended up getting this giant framed collage of each of them and a bunch of other stuff.  It was one of the most fun sessions I'd ever shot.  I think the crowning frame of that session was getting speedo guy on the floor on a faux-fur rug, laying down on his side with his finger to his lips and a come hither look in his eye.  Yum.
  And as an added bonus, when they finished looking at their pictures on the sales table, I forgot to close the window on the computer and this kid came up and started laughing and when his mom came to see what he was laughing at she cupped her hands over his eyes and yelled at me.  Worth it :)