So when I finally got my first management position in retail I was working at Hollywood Video. I can outright say that it was Hollywood Video because they are all closed now, so it really doesn't matter. Management was basically doing all of the work that I was doing anyway but actually getting paid more to do it. Plus people have to listen to you when you are the manager. At least that's what I thought.
After working there for about two years I became the assistant manager. My store manager, Lynn, was on her way out in a few months because she had been going to law school for the last few years and this job was paying the bills. So at this point in my career she was there but we were more like co-managers. Lynn was still doing a lot of the hiring before she left and she hired this guy named Dwayne. Dwayne was kinda creepy. He used to be like an insurance salesman or something like that and he thought he was pretty hardcore. We thought he would be a good match for the store because he liked movies and he seemed to be able to sell stuff. But it turns out his douche factor was turned up to maximum.
Back in the '80s Dwayne had been an extra in the Digital Underground video for The Humpty Dance and he thought he was hot shit in a champagne glass because of it. He loved to tell everyone that he met Tupac and by the way he told it you'd think they were besties. You could see that he was totally struggling with his workplace identity because he was a black guy who was a little bit older than the rest of us and it was like he couldn't decide whether he wanted to be the tough and suave black guy or the super white-washed and non-intimidating black guy. But no matter what issues he had going on, he was still a douche. He was really nice to all the guys that worked there, but it was obvious that he didn't like working for women, despite the fact that Lynn was really cool. I was cool too, but still getting my management legs, so, uh, not exactly the most effective manager at times. And he thought he could just eat me alive.
If he ever worked for one of the male shift leaders he would do anything they asked and totally kiss their ass. But they always let people break the rules on their shifts and I have always been a stickler for rules. One big rule was no cellphones were allowed. Dwayne thought that because he used to be in a job where he always had his cellphone on that it was okay to do that at Hollywood. I explained to him rather plainly that it was not. He thought he was so damned slick. He would have it in one of those tacky belt holsters and tell me it was off but it wasn't. I told him he couldn't wear it anymore in the holster and he would say that he put it away but you could see it clearly in his pocket.
One night Dwayne told me that he put his phone away and I couldn't see it anywhere on his person. I thought he had finally ended Battle Cellphone. There were about two customers in the store that night and I saw them in plain sight all by their lonesome, but I could hear Dwayne talking to someone while he was shelving movies. I headed towards the back of the store and he must have heard me coming because I heard "I'll talk to you later" and then he pretended to be putting movies away again. I asked him who he was on the phone with and he tells me that he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Once again I can't see the phone on him anywhere.
About an hour later he and I are the only ones in the store and I hear a phone go off on the salesfloor. I tell him that I heard his phone and that we have talked about it before and that he can't have it on him.
"You know, I've had enough lip from you. You are always trying to tell me what to do and there isn't even anyone in the damn store right now!" he yells at me.
I was totally shaking because I really hate confrontation, but I held my ground and told him to put the phone away one more time.
"Dammit! You can't tell me what to do! I'm a 35 year old man! I'm a 35 year old man and you are some 18 year old girl tryin' to run me! I don't have to put up with this!" he screams grabbing his phone--from his fucking sock! Who hides a phone in their sock?
And with that he walked out on me and quit right on the spot. I was floored. I had never had anyone that I worked with talk to me like that and I had never had anyone quit on me. Two management firsts in one night. I wish that was the last time that I had a cellphone debate with an employee, but it wasn't, sadly.
On the plus side, for about a month we had a great new catch phrase at work whenever one of us asked another to do something. "You can't tell me what to do! I'm a 35 year old man!" Yeah, that one never gets old.
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