Poo Story

'Cause hey, who doesn't like a good poo story?

So, the most fucked up shit--no pun intended--always happened to me at my fast-food job when I got out from behind the safety of the front counter.  I went to go clean the bathroom in the ladies restroom because the person on janitorial duty was a dude and couldn't go in there while it was so busy, but it had to get cleaned because some lady told us that it was gross.  I really, truly wish she had given us details.

I get in there and it isn't so bad.  The mirror had a little lipstick kiss mark on it [Yuck!  Why would you kiss the mirror?], there were a few rogue paper towels and it smelled like a bathroom, but I didn't see anything horribly wrong.  I cleaned up stall one and stall two and then when I got to the handicapped stall, that's when I saw it!

 Right next to the toilet was a steamy hot puddle of liquid doody.  Oh yeah.  I don't get how you could get that close to the toilet and just leave that for someone to clean up, but yeah, liquid poo.  And, yeah, I was really grossed out, but more than anything I just couldn't believe that it was happening.  So of course I did what any respectible sixteen-year-old would do and I had to go tell everyone.

I get up to the front and I have tears welling up in my eyes because I am all giggly and stuff.  And like six people working gather up at the front and just watch me standing there cracking up and all I can manage to get out is:

"Hahahaha!  Someone... Oh my Gawd!  They... Someone... Psssssh!"

And that's when some little girl comes out and yells, "Mommy there's poo all over the floor and I stepped on it!"

And I look and sure enough there was this little trail of poo prints for about five feet out of the bathroom and we all just lost it!  The kid was all upset because she thought we were making fun of her and I felt all bad, but it just made me laugh even harder.  The girl's dad didn't think it was funny at first, but then it got hard for him to keep a straight face because the kid was so upset over something so dumb.  I was laughing for a little bit longer, but then the gravity of the situation hit me.

Dammit.  I still had to clean it up.  Poo tracks and all.