Incommunicado

As a district manager, it pisses me off to no end when you have a manager who is supposed to be in constant communication with you and with their staff members and they say they don't have a cellphone.

You know that their happy ass has a cellphone and they just don't want to give you the number.  Everyone and their grandma has a cellphone now.  And I hate it when people that you know have a cellphone give you that crap line about "Well if I'm supposed to have a cellphone then the company can get me one."  Fuck you!  At least have the decency to tell me "Yeah, I have one but I don't give the number out because I only have a limited amount of minutes." or something!

Anyway, I had this older guy working for me and he was adamant about the fact that he did not have, nor was he ever going to get, a cellphone.  And he said I could get the company to get him one if it was that important and the whole song and dance, and it was just really stupid.  Every time I needed to send a mass text out to my team I had to send out the text and then call his house phone and maybe someone would pick up.  Irritating as hell.

One day there was an emergency at his store and I needed to get a hold of him.  His wife picks up the phone and says "Oh gosh, he isn't here right now, but let me call his cellphone and I will have him call you back as soon as possible!" 

Arrrgh!  Okay, fine, lie to me.  I will call your ass at all hours instead of sending you a text that you can view at your leisure.  Whatever.  I confront him about it and he says that his wife must have been confused and that she was thinking of his son's cellphone.  Uh huh...

Then a few months down the road he calls me all up in arms and I ask him what happened and he says "I was at the front register and a customer went into the back room and stole my Palm pilot and my cellphone!" 

"So, you didn't have a cellphone and now suddenly you have a Palm pilot and a cellphone?"

"Well, um, I just got them both last week for my birthday," he tells me.

His birthday was actually four months earlier.  He is lying to me again.  You've gotta be kidding me.  So he files a report and never hears back from anyone because frankly no one cares.  Especially me.

So a few weeks later I call him at his store and ask him if I can get his new cell number and he says he didn't get it replaced.  He had just finished telling me how his store was really slow that day and that no one was there except him.  So of course the damn phone goes off right while we are on the phone.

Unbelievable.